The Crusty Delusions Of Shame
Shame. Right? It is arguably the worst. Capable of paralyzing any and all occasions. Psychologists tell us it can make us actually physically sick. It is a giant hard drive in our mind. Constantly downloading mistakes, traumas and missed opportunities. Telling us with every log-in we are exactly the mistake made, the trauma issued or the failure of a dream passed by. Shame loves silence and lives on routine. It also feeds our ego the very story we are not. Helping build an amazing false identity. Keeping us moving forward so that no one knows how “bad” we really are. It’s crazy bullshit, right? Shame does have its assassins and they are much more available than we know. Shame dies with it’s own admission. The book of Proverbs tells us confession brings mercy. The act of opening your mouth to shame will yield compassion, forgiveness and love. Tell someone the specifics of your shame. Leave nothing out. This one thing alone will produce freedom from it’s grip and a true value of who you are. Most of our feelings are anchored in our routines and very often our routines are created through the building of fear and shame. Become hyper-vigilant about what that hard drive is telling you while you do what you do and who you do it with. That log of your thoughts will help bear awareness to the “when” of shame, the triggers of shame and how you may defend against it’s crusty delusions. Armed with this consciousness of your shame, it becomes crazy important to continue the work of admission without which you’re screwed to the wall. The third killer for shame, Divine love. Prayer, meditation and contemplation allows a sweet balcony view to your life, drawing a better picture of shame helping you see it ain’t real and it ain’t you!
How does shame affect your relationship?
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