There Is Enough
He stole everything when we got him. Cell phones, keys, money, watches. If it fit into his little pockets, he’d snatch it. It was as if he'd never have enough. He was a four year old abused foster kid, moved around with his siblings like old warehouse boxes until they came marching into our house. Angel is the middle child of three, all smiles. He was terrified of being hurt or having to leave again. When you adopt, you adopt great needs. The need to be safe. The need to be loved. The need to not know what you need. The need to heal. The need to be afraid of everything and everyone. When you're the one being adopted, you simply want the horror to stop. Diane and I had no clue what we were doing when we took in the three of them. We learned to survive in 24 hour increments. If the kids went to sleep, fed and alive, that was enough and we’d been successful. Every night for years, even up to last night we’d collapse in bed, breathe deeply, unclench our minds, bodies and spirits and rush into the splendor of sleep, praying tomorrow would be better. It is what this life is. No complaints! This life is enough. Enough love. Enough needs to be met. Enough faith to wrap the world a few times over. Enough trauma to keep a team of professionals busy for five lifetimes. Enough sacrifice to empty ourselves of ego and fear. Enough pain to keep us tied to the exhale of healing. Enough grace for fucked up behaviors stemming from abuse to keep us in the sweet hands of forgiveness. Enough sorrow to see joy as the substance of life. Enough hopes dashed to see accomplishment as loving personal attachment. Enough trauma triggers to fire 10,000 recalled memories. Enough slamming doors to remind us love is an intentional act. Enough fear and resentment to keep us chasing each other down hallways, roads, fields, ballparks, police stations, restaurants, weddings and rest stops to ask, “are you OK?” And enough mental illness to make Carl Jung proud! We simply have a perfect amount of enough. About a year into our adoption Angel stopped stealing. He gave way into safety, security, food, beds, adults not hurting him. He came to rely on the enough-ness of love.
Do you know love is enough?
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