“It’s Not About Your Damn Story”
A few years ago I was on retreat with one of the most popular spiritual teachers of our time. She's a small woman who lives on an island. A mystic, author and Episcopal priest. She’s also a no nonsense kind of gal. That’s why I like her. Her books inspire and move the heart to chase Divine longing. During the week with her there is time to “work,” get your hands in the earth or simply take on tasks as a gateway to the deeper listening of self and God. Beyond her teachings it is the best part of the stay. You are told not to make the work periods about “socializing.” Not a warning, but a gentle nudge to lose yourself, lose your story, your ego, your sense of self importance. For those of us who struggle with ego and the need to perform for validation, work periods might prove to be problematic, at least they are for me. One day during “work period” I was clearing brush with several other retreaters and the need to be known was so great I unconsciously became the brush clearing comedian. Making jokes about every weed I pulled for every person within earshot. I’m sure it was very amusing. Little did I realize the mystic was observing from afar. Later that day as we gathered for the afternoon teaching this small woman began by asserting herself in a very clear and straightforward tone, “Work period is not about your damn story!” Her voice echoing off the ceiling, splitting my heart into a thousand pieces. I was caught in my need to be validated. Caught needing the other weed pullers to think I was something, somebody. The tiny priest understood my dilemma. Nobody knew me, nobody got a chance to know me, nobody would care to know me should I continue to make “work periods” about me. She wasn't asking for silent lemmings to simply pull up roots. She was asking, strongly suggesting, we allow the work to capture the deeper movement of our hearts; the ability to see, hear and be with ourselves while being with others. I simply didn't have the capacity that day. But I guess that's why you go on retreat.
What is your work period?
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