Spiritual Direction As Shark Tank Pitch Ain’t A Thing

Over time these things have found their way into my pockets while walking, praying and contemplating. Beyond their beauty they are reminders of intimacy and significance between myself and the Divine while learning to love. That feather, came to me on a day when giving up my practice in spiritual direction was a thing. For the record spiritual direction as a Shark Tank pitch ain’t a thing. I was completely immersed in my head, feeling sorry for myself, listening to that voice telling me, “what you’re doing is insane and holds no value.” That voice as I’m sure you know can be overwhelming and paralyzing. As I fought to push past the bullshit of my ego and fear I saw that feather on the ground. I’m not normally a feather guy but this one was something else. Small, beautiful and incredibly soft. It was bent up when I grabbed it. It needed tending if it was going to have a life beyond flying. I sat for awhile straightening out the vain and the tiny downy barbs. That task gave me time to pop off the ceiling and look realistically at myself. Time to contemplate my fear, ego and willingness to control while cycling through its terrorizing sequence. Ego and fear deeply enjoy one another and can’t wait for self pity to take you off course. They delight in your eagerness to run or draw blood. I did the best I could to bring back flight in that feather. I tucked it into my wallet and I finished my walk desiring to let go of fear and ego, desiring to trust more than myself, desiring to let go into a deeper sense of love. I want that love to prove my life isn’t my own over and over and over again. It is in that space I am most alive. We all have days, days where fear and ego kick our ass driving us deep into self, challenging the very essence of who we are, telling us we should be more, more and more... in those moments I hope for pause in your life. The ability to give yourself time to find the love you came from not just going to. That tiny little feather keeps doing its job well beyond the wind and bird, helping me into love. I didn’t quit that day and have no plans in quitting today.
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#contemplative #love #contemplation#spiritualdirector